there is no U in Me.

"To find someone you love, You gotta be someone you love." -nada surf
I guess I'm ready then... again. :-/

bleh.

I'm set. I'm free. I'm ready. I'm green, yes... but I'm ready.
Last year I grew. I lost, and I learned. I came in to this year with close to nothing left but my pride, dignity, and passion, and even then I came into this year with almost nothing...
but if i come with nothing... then I guess I come with all I need.
:)

I'm set.

I'm excited to see what I find in the midst of this year, and those to come. My blood is pumping harder this time around, and it's due to no one but myself. I am 100% with who and what I am. 2 years ago I never thought i would have reached this point.
It's the best feeling when you finally do.

I'm home.

mi corazon quebrado

i wake alone
and pretend that i am finally home.

the room is littered
with her books and notebooks
i imagine what they say, like,
"shoo fly don't bother me."
i can hardly get myself out of the bed
for fear of never lying in this bed again.

oh christ, i'm not that desperate.
oh no, oh god. i am.

how'd i end up here to begin with?
i don't know.
why do i start what i can't finish?
oh please don't barrage me
with the questions
to all those lovely answers.
my ego's like my stomach,
it keeps shitting what i feed it.

or maybe i don't want to finish anything anymore...



recluse

heartshaped hand grenades

i'm holding it together
i'm holding it together
i swear i'm holding it together
like a heartshaped hand grenade!

you leave as you please
and you come as you please
and all the while here i am
with my delicate heartshaped hand grenade!

i'll soon explode and throw up my insides
i'll expel you from me and have my way
i swear i'll blow you to bits
with this heartshaped hand grenade!

just use me use me use me
keep taking freely as you please
and watch my heart shatter and explode
as you hurt me with your hand grenades...

those selfish words

like hand grenades.

-kg